Today, I faced many things I have been avoiding for years. I spent three hours in a park just meditating and thinking about who I am while sitting in a pile of fallen autumn leaves in the middle of Freedom Park. This week of silent introspection and meditation has been extremely thought provoking. It's scary, looking at ones' self. You have to dissect every aspect of your existence, realize who you are, and try to understand yourself more. That's what this week has been. It's ironic that the true point of turning was at Freedom Park, I'm finally becoming free, facing my insecurities, realizing that what has happened in the past are simply actions and that I've been reacting for the longest time. There's so much more to this world.
Everyone has their demons, I definitely have mine. I've been struggling with them for a long time and facing them is one of the most uplifting and inspirational things I've done in a long time. I've realized I need to stop being so judgmental. The judgmental attitude I’ve possessed for years, I’ve realized, is an expression of a store of anger. I hold things in, though I am a vocal person, when it comes to the events that are truly serious to my personality and self conscious, I am quiet. There are very few people I trust enough to share my deepest secrets with and even then, it’s usually under the influence of a fine bottle of Cognac. Though my life is changing in extreme senses with the transition to college and Sigma Chi, I’m not unhappy. I’m finally facing the events of my life and learning more about who I am and what I believe in. I’m happy for this. I need to start working on my self. No more judgment, we are all children of God. Everyone is important, and every man has a purpose. I'm finally beginning to strive to be a witness, be confident in myself, and act instead of react.
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